Misery: Day Nine (I'm like a diary)

I love psychology. I love criminal psychology. I love doing what I do. But there is a down side: I'm like a diary.

What I mean to say is: though I love when my friends trust me enough to tell me their problems and ask for my "professional" advice, sometimes it can be an unpleasant experience on my part. Like last night when I went over to Dear Friend H's house for a little girl time.

After nine cups of tea, chocolate, pasta and two movies, talking time came. And out it all spilled. There were tears and hugs and lots of listening (on my part) and lots of talking (on her part). It seems she and her boyfriend are in a little bit of a rut. He's immature, insensitive and makes her feel like he isn't passionate about their relationship anymore. After two ultimatums of leaving him unless he steps up and two "stepping ups" on his part followed by going back down the same old road, she was exasperated.

So I gave my advice, lots of hugs, and then we watched three more movies. But that wasn't the problem. I enjoyed helping her and get joy from thinking that I could save their relationship or help her pull her out of one that is mentally harming, it brought up memories on my part that I try my best to forget.

Before Lover, there was Ex. And Ex was mean, and violent, and threatening. And I was with him for a year of my life (I know! Shh!).

When we broke up it was not on great terms, mainly because I finally screamed that I never loved him, he scared me and I wanted to end it from week two, and he was loosing his obsession. It was a scary time for me and when I started seeing Lover and before we became an "official" couple, I had finally gotten over it.

But H telling me about her relationship problems was startling to me because so many aspects of their relationships was like mine. C (we shall call her boyfriend) changes when she threatens to leave and then falls back into the same old pattern, and Ex would stop being violent and start being nice to me, only to start again a week later, pulling me deeper and deeper into the trap that was our relation-shit.

Shudder. For at least the twentieth time this season, I am so glad I have Lover. Remind me to give him an extra big hug when he gets back from his trip.