To spawn or not to spawn?

Lover and I have been talking more in depth about having children. No, wait! Let me correct that: Lover and I have been talking more in depth about having a child (as much as he wants to pass on five boys in a litter, I utterly refuse; if I can't stand it as the girlfriend how on earth could I stand it as the mother?). If any child is coming out of me, it will be a one time thing. I'm not particularly keen on having children of my own, and if Lover and I decided to pass on his beautiful genes, only one child will come out of it.

But I digress. The question that came out of our talk was this: What do we do?

I'm getting my Ph. D, which means I have a lot more college to go through before I can contribute to the support of our household. And even though Lover will be out and working before me, is it enough to keep a home and baby afloat?

Should we plan the baby so that by the time I'm out of college and working Baby is in preschool or kindergarten and we don't have to worry about daycare, or should we wait until I have a steady job as well as Lover?

If we have Baby while I'm in college, will his salary be enough to support us all? Will I take Baby to class with me while he is at work, or do I take Baby to my college's daycare center? But what if the daycare isn't an interactive one and Baby becomes behind in cognitive and social abilities? (Such are the problems those of us who are psychologists have.... We over analyze everything when it comes it our kids because of what we have been taught.)

If we decided to wait until after I get my Ph. D...

Will I stay home until school starts for our child and then get a job? But then Lover will miss out on so much, and I don't want that to happen. So does he stay home until school starts and then get a job of his own? But then I miss out. So do we send Baby to daycare and hope it's a good one that will help development? But then we both miss out.

Will our child be like me as I was when I was a teenager (4.0, smart, rebellious, sassy, mean) or will it be like him (4.0, genius, generous, caring, well behaved)?

What is a good age to have children? Late 20's so we will be young when they are teenagers? 30's so we will be better off but closer to old age when we might need our youth the most? 40's so we can support Baby for sure but nearly decrypted when Baby is Teenager?

We both want to work for the FBI, me as a Criminal Psychologist and he as a Forensics Investigator, so what sort of affect will that have on Baby? And if we don't join the FBI, I would work in an asylum most likely and Lover might be with the police force. That doesn't sound like a healthy environment for a baby either!

Thoughts and opinions? Stories of your own?

Doing the good-girlfriend bit.

Twice a week I attend football games; approximately six and a half to seven hours of my life are spent sitting on a cold, hard bench-sometimes in the rain-, watching a sport I really, really hate. First off, I don't get it. All I do really is single out a person that this is cheering for us and what ever noise they make, I make louder and then throw in a few words of my own to make it less banal.

As well it always seems that when ever Lover makes a touch down or tackles someone or intercepts the ball, or does anything good for that matter, I am never looking. So when he excitedly bounces over to me after the game asking, "Did you see my touch down? Did you see my tackle that guy? Did you see me...", I lie, paste on a happy smile and say, "Of course I did baby! You are such the little football star!"

Which is true; he is the only one keeping the team alive... I just never notice.

Needless to say, I was happy beyond belief when football season was coming to an end. That meant that when we hung out during the weekday I wouldn't have to wait until seven for practice to be over. It also meant I wouldn't have to go to two games a week.

Surprise, surprise! "NO!" the Football God yells to me, "NO, NO! Lover, it just so happens, is going to play offs. Which means if they do well you could have MONTHS of football ahead of you. HAH HAH!"

As happy as I was for him, I couldn't help but feel unadulterated disdain for his ability to play the stupid game well at the very moment. Why did I have to go? Why couldn't he just play the damn game and then I come afterwards to see him?! Well, the answer is that he actually proposed that, knowing how much I hate the sport. But I said no for a few reasons:

1. I enjoy seeing him do what he loves, and doing it well. It makes me happy when he is happy.
2. No one else comes. His parents never come, nor do any of his friends. So I'm really the only one there to cheer him on.
3. He likes it when I come, which makes him happy; which goes back to point one.

So I go, and I smile, and I pretend that I see his touch downs and tackles.

Thursday (the 30th of October), I want to the second to last game he would be playing before going off to state (the last being on All Hallows Eve). I brought my book to read, my iPod to listen to, and even some homework to do notes because that's often what I do. But to my surprise I actually noticed his touch down! And his tackle! And everything he was doing! But I should have known...

Long story short, he broke his hand. The coaches wouldn't take him out when it was first injured, and because he just can't disappoint people, he played for another quarter with a limp hand, all the while it getting worse and worse.

I now hate the coaches for being so selfish.

Now he can't go to playoffs (though he did want to, arguing that the cast would be hard enough to protect his hand for damage) and when I am sorry that he has to wait until next year to show of his amazing skills, I'm kind of happy that I no longer have football games and practices! He is all mine!

....

Until track season.

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And let's not forget Speech & Debate, which takes up BOTH our Saturdays, even though we don't get to see each other often.

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And work.

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And the 4.0 we both have to maintain. [sigh]